California Schemin'

People think a lot of things about California. It's the Golden State, it's corrupt, it's full of celebrities and celebutants, it's the home of the liberal elite, it's the home of electric cars, Silicon Valley, it's the home of the wealthiest rat bastards in America, and sometimes - it's a land of dreams. All of these things are true, depending on who you are, how you live and where you live. The California dream is whatever you make it, but for most of us living here it's fallen into the gaping chasm between poverty and impenetrable wealth.

The media have recently taken note of this matter. It's been noted that Los Angeles couldn't afford Michael Jackson's funeral (this really meant that the city couldn't afford public servants such as police to wrangle the crowd that ultimately didn't turn up). Los Angeles can't afford to pay its teachers. Los Angeles can't afford to take care of its hospitals, its roads, and it's turned to giving folks like me $80 parking tickets to afford this which is an expense we should all share. But California can't raise taxes without a two-thirds supermajority vote, this was voted in in 1979. This is hard to come by. In advertising there's an adage (pardon the pun): "what happens when you don't spend money on advertising? Nothing." The same goes for an entire state.

Last week I traveled to Denver to attend the wedding of a childhood friend. I encountered people I hadn't seen in fifteen years, and it was truly a delight to see that it's true, some people don't change over time. I suppose I fear change in people a bit, I dearly wish that the world doesn't get to them and harden them. For this troop it appeared to be the case that they'd missed the "world is kind of a shithole" memo. But actually, it's probably just my perspective, as a struggling Californian.

Some guests came from Texas, a smattering from Virginia, two from Oregon (my parents), and some stragglers from Arizona. You couldn't get more of a diverse group of Americans. Then you had me...the temporary Angeleno.

Upon hearing that I resided in Los Angeles, I was met with gasps of, "Oh mah gawwwwd! Do you ever see any celebrities?! How is it? Is it beautiful?! I bet it's beautiful." That general sentiment, the California dream, had salivated all over those words.

"Well, I have a great boyfriend and a great job, that's enough to keep me there. But as for the city, I could take it or leave it. And about the celebrities...there have definitely been some but I'll have to remember. Let me get back to you on that."

In that moment I realized how jaded I was. I couldn't remember the celebrities I've met? I'm a storyteller, dammit, I write this blog and tell stories all the damn time. I should be able to remember some celebrities I've met. The first that came to me was the time I vomited in front of Dr. Drew Pinsky, who is a god in my mind, but most people don't know who he is. The story didn't draw much applause.

Wedding guests from Virginia wanted me to explain what it was like where I live. They wanted to hear about Hollywood, the beaches, the shopping. It was as thought I was a war hero back on my homeland's soil. Had I done battle with anything? Yeah, kind of. I had done battle with a place that is so gluttonous it is eating itself alive. However, that notion was so present in my acquaintances' questions, I don't think they were aware of it. It was subconscious. I was the only one that saw it. To them they were getting firsthand information about a place they had only ever seen in movies and television, they had only ever seen the California dream.

I didn't want to be too much of a downer, I want people to believe that a place like the California in their minds does exist, and at some point it really did. But now, it's anything but a dream.

The Guardian recently published an article (and I believe the Economist did as well) hypothesizing that California may become America's first failed state.

The reasons for such are extremely long term. The idea is that this land of dreams, the only place in the world with such existential optimism, is failing its residents and employees left and right. Public programs such as Healthy Families are being eliminated. Parents sending children to public schools are having to donate for their supplies - if they don't, the teacher will have to buy supplies with her own money. Not to mention that pesky real estate issue, which really was self-inflicted by the intense belief in the California dream. We can have our cake and eat it too can't we? We can have medium income jobs, nice new cars, and a fabulous house the suburbs that costs more than ten times the value of our stock portfolio! Of course we can, we're entitled to that by this mandated dream aren't we?

Rome fell for such a belief. It's possible that in California, we've fixed ourselves for such a state.

Sacrifice is a word that is unheard of here. Luxury, excess, and perfection dominate everything. Most people feel entitled to these things. Then occasionally a fire rips through it all and reminds us, for approximately two weeks, that we and our possessions are finite and fallible. Then we quickly forget. And the rest of the nation never knew the feeling at all.

I hate to say that there is no easy way out of this. California unemployment sits at a solid 10% and real estate values in some cities have dropped by 75%. What are we ever to do?

Learn to sacrifice. Learn that luxury is not common and excess is not necessary. Living in an apartment is perhaps where you should be, you're not entitled to a four bedroom house seventy miles away from where you work. Likewise, our state government should learn that they cannot spend without taxing.

California is the world's eighth largest economy. The United States is the world's first largest economy. It's likely that California is a microcosm of the United States. The United States, at this particular moment in time, just as much better management.