The Holiday Spirit Broke my Immune System

I haven't been able to write a blog since November 30th. This saddens me greatly. Here I sit, crying big salty tears into my cup'o'water with emergen-c in it. Then I will some left overs from a party I attended last week and ten consider digging into a half consumed bottle of wine that was a gift from a vendor. I haven't been able to write a blog because the holiday rampage of scheduling conflicts and social obligations have broken my brain.

It was only one year ago when the holidays were fun. They were fun because I didn't have a damn thing to do. I craved social events leading to drinking and forced socialization because then I didn't have to make people hang out with me: they were begging me to hang out with them. Evite invitations flooded my email box, my phone blowing up daily with reminders and invitations, oooh joy! Such popularity! My presence was a commodity. I was a number to take up space and to consume goodies and perhaps bring a gift. Even if that were the lowly case, I loved it. I loved that my presence was wanted, because it wasn't wanted anywhere else.

This year, my life changed greatly. I like being at home now. Because I have a semi-family. He makes our place feel like a home. He makes this place feel warm and loving and entertaining all at the same time. So I don't much care to be driving my drunk ass all over town to varying events at which I am only there to consume drink and food.

Alas, I wasn't about to give up on my social obligations this year. I love my friends. Even if I feel overwhelmed and pompous by way of these myriad attendance requests.

Thanksgiving rolls in and then it starts. Then it's my birthday in the first week of December. Then the company parties begin. Then the Christmas and Chanukkah parties grow at a rapid rate. That doesn't count the normal drinking and carousing, no siree. And all while this goes on, I am working, planning the allocation of my company's marketing dollars for 2010. Also, I must remember, the last week of December is completely shot, as I will be visiting my family.

Do you think I'm an egomaniac yet? Ungrateful for having people around me that probably care about me?

Most don't. It's a numbers game. Especially the company parties. In that case, I view consuming their food and drink as an act of communism that I must perform.

I brought porn to a white elephant party. That was fun.

But the downside of that is that I'm just really tired and now I've gotten really sick.

I'm glad I'm really sick. It means that I don't have to pick up the phone now. I can set it to vibrate, I can ignore it, and in my sick voice call back the message sender later on and say, "oh, sorry, I was taking a nap...I'm quite under the weather."

Also, I got to write a blog. Even if it was a series of complaints that may seem completely unwarranted. In January, when the phone stops ringing and I can stop worrying about pissing people off because I have to reschedule or can't attend their affair, I'll relish this time. For now, I'm going to relish being sick, because it allowed for the peace and quiet between my brain 'n' me.

Ahh...sweet release.