Sorority Clothing Rules brought to you by Cornell's Pi Phi

I recall as a child, my best friend, born four days after myself, was forced to wear a Rodney Dangerfield inspired golf outfit to her own mini-golf birthday party. We were about eight years-old. She was fucking horrified at what she was wearing. Her mother asked me to go up in her room to get her to come out. Apparently upon putting on the plaid bell-bottomed pants, white turtleneck, and plaid vest, she rejected all sense of normalcy and threw a fucking fit.

As I walked in the room and saw this, I really wanted to laugh. It was pretty damned funny. Not only because of what it is was, but because her mother was making her wear it to her own party to appease her mother's sense of...um...I have no idea what. Maybe she didn't get to wear something so rad when she was in her twenties? Was this really a secretly Caddyshack-themed party and us eight year-olds weren't in on the joke?

I eventually got my friend to emerge from the room. Her face rosy and tear stained. Her mother shoved us all in the van and got moving. My friend's birthday wasn't that great.

I, on the other hand, was rarely made to do anything other than math. I used to figure skate and designed my own costumes on notebook paper for my mother to recreate in real life with her majestic sewing machine skills.

So when I stumbled upon the fashion rules from Cornell's Pi Phi sorority published on Fashionista.com, I couldn't help but imagine how I'd feel to be given such strict guidelines on what to wear. I would have tried to wear all the don'ts at once.

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Cornell's Pi Phi Do's and Don'ts.

No American Apparel leggings?
No open-toed shoes?
Accessories required?
No plastic bracelets?
Nothing is uglier than cracked lips!

These are all things that are quite mild, but hilarious when done properly. All outfits should be capable of not only expressing one's mood and style, but not have to cost $500 to create to be acceptable by one's den mother or whatever the hell his woman is called.

I didn't see plaid bell-bottomed golf pants mentioned on here.