Socialism in your own backyard

A few days ago, I was gallivanting through my office's parking structure on my return from lunch, occasionally gawking into people's cars that just happened to meet my line of vision. It's not my fault when imagery collides with my sight, it cannot be helped. But I was amiss in my aim for the interior of vehicles and I caught a bumper sticker.

It read: SOCIALISM

The "O" was made into the Obama campaign logo "O" with a somewhat American flaggy enhancement.

I got excited and exclaimed to my boss, "LOOK! Somebody else likes socialism!"

She replied with some disappointment in her voice; both for my not getting the very obvious joke and because, well, it was a joke.

In small print below "SOCIALISM" read a web address (which I will not type all of in order to prevent any potential website traffic from going to the site): Palin_____.com.

So, I should have gotten it that it was an uber-sarcastic and slandering attempt at a political and economic system that could very well save America. But, to me, socialism is such a powerfully good thing, used in many ways to better the effectiveness of collective dollars, that such a joke was ludicrous.

Here is a list of all the terrible, awful, death panely, Hitler-loving, anti-American, things that in which socialism is instrumental:

1. The Gym
Look, you and I both know that most people who sign up for gym don't actually go. And if they do go, they don't go seven days a week. Hence, you have individuals paying for a service that they don't constantly use. This allows the cost to use this system, per person, to be quite low. If I only paid to go to the gym 100% for myself and didn't spread the cost amongst those that have signed up but don't actually go, I'd be paying ten times what I presently pay, if not more. Then, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place, gyms wouldn't exist, and I'd have approximately 4.664 times more cellulite than I do right now.

2. Schools
This goes for public and private schools. Private schools depend on donors, which I will refer to as "elective socialism". Public schools, thanks to all the genius of our voting public and the budgeteering committee of the state of California, are more and more in need of elective socialism. At this rate, all public schools will eventually be private, but not provide a better education. God...that makes me want to breed...right...now.

3. Public transportation
Not everybody uses public transportation. Those that don't use it end up paying taxes for it anyway (did I mention that I live in LA? Nobody walks in LA). This helps keep the per person fee nice and low for those that have no choice but to travel via public transportation. Beautiful.

4. The military
Hopefully we don't have to use them, but they're there. Sometimes idiots don't deploy them when people are truly in need of them, but hey, that's hopefully not going to happen again. We all pay for it. We all need it. We, at some point, all use it.

5. Marrying a rich person
If you marry well, you ultimately become someone that will benefit greatly from a heaping checkbook. And sometimes, depending on your social abilities and sense of real love, loyalty and commitment...this money might actually become yours.

I love that three of the five examples are already government based, at least partially. What's taking it a little bit further? How bad could that be? Socialism does not disincentivize companies or rich individuals, they will still be companies and rich people will still be rich by comparison to everyone else. Maybe some rich asshole will have a 6,000 square foot home in Manhattan Beach instead of an 8,000 square foot home with a pool. Boo fucking hoo.

The gap between rich and poor has become an ocean. A lean tax code has allowed families to keep their wealth and not spread it. The longer this goes on, the more protective these small-scale (and large-scale) heirs and heiresses become of their unearned cash. Extrapolate this situation and we get a caste system. If anything is un-American, it's telling people that they have no hope because of the family they were born into. What's wrong with changing that?